Lanzarote is located west of Morocco and is part of a Spanish archipelago collectively called The Canary Islands. Craggy and desolate from the volcanoes that formed it, there are pockets of civilization and quite a few resorts dotting the landscape.

If humanity were to somehow terraform and colonize Mars, I have to imagine the end result would look something like this. I was taken aback by how the island landforms reminded me of something out of a sci-fi movie. I wouldn’t even try to hike over it because if you tripped, you’d likely be seriously injured.

From a vehicle, however, it’s the kind of monotonous scenery that puts people to sleep, and that we did…several times during our tour of the island.


We stayed at the all-inclusive H10 Rubicón Palace resort in the Playa Blanca region of the island. I enjoy luxury accommodations when I travel, and we were fortunate enough to enjoy this highly-recommended 5-star dwelling. Numerous pools, unlimited alcohol, and all-you-can eat food took much of the thought out of daily life. We spent most of our time on the island here only venturing out once to tour the island.

The only downside to staying there was that it was not adults only, so as you can imagine children were everywhere.

That in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, but when the inevitably run into you or trip you, and make a mess of the shared food space; it becomes an issue.

My face when children are running wild


The highlight of this leg of the trip was the tour of the island. As I’ve noted, there isn’t a ton of captivating scenery and little to no vegetation on large swaths of the island, but the coasts are a different story. From black sand beaches to large waves violently crashing against the worn volcanic rock and the green lagoon, or El Golfo, the coasts boast some of nature’s finest artwork.

That isn’t to say that the mountainous regions are without beauty. They boast mild volcanic activity, which I will get to. The elemental contrast between the regions fascinated me.


At one point on our tour the bus (van?) stopped at what amounted to a truck stop. Whatever it was it turned out to be an oasis. There was a wine store and a buffet with decent food. We bought a couple bottles while we had some downtime.


While our tour didn’t have any official themes, I’ll call this segment fire since we witnessed food being cooked over a volcanic vent, a “geyser” show, and a literal pit of fire. Yes, in the mountains of this alien wilderness (aka Las Montañas del Fuego) there is a restaurant, El Diablo Restaurante, that uses geothermal heat to cook food.

Given that there are tons of tourists that walk through this place to view how the food is cooked, I’m not certain of how sanitary it is, but I suppose they’re counting on the heat to kill all germs.

After our tour of the restaurant, we were able to witness a “geyser”, which in all honest was a guy pouring water down a hole for it to be spit back up by the by the heat and pressure of the semi-active volcano we stood on.

Then, to further demonstrate that we were actually actually standing on the precipice of hell, we witnessed the burning of grass in one of the heat vents.


Jameos del Agua is a tourist attraction and restaurant on the Northern part of the island. It is a natural formation created after a lava tube cooled and it has a gorgeous azure crab lagoon. Personally speaking, I think the restaurant surrounding the lagoon takes away from the beauty of it, but it was still a worthwhile stop during a day-long excursion.


Lanzarote was a brief resort stop on our Spain trip for a bit of sun and heat during the typically chilly early fall. It is a place for relaxation more than action and I was grateful for it. If I ever find myself in the Canary Islands again I would opt for an adults only resort instead and maybe on another island like Tenerife for variety. Still, it was a great experience and recommended if you’re looking to kick back.